Everything That is True

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Bloomingdale San Fransisco opens tomorrow!

On September 28, Bloomingdale's will open its West Coast flagship store in the lavish new Westfield San Francisco Centre, on Market St. between Fourth and Fifth streets. Five floors will host the renowned Bloomingdale's apparel, accessories, housewares, and more. In the surrounding mall, exclusive boutiques and an attractive array of casual gourmet dining options will make this one of the hottest shopping destinations in the city. 865 Market St. 856-5300 ( Westfield San Francisco Centre). www.westfield.com, www.bloomingdales.com

Friday, September 22, 2006

Everyday Abusers & The Smear Campaigns

The abuser has no understanding of the hurt and emotional devastation she creates. She will never know this pain. However, she will only be able to pull it off temporarily because other people don't understand this first-strike tactic of the personality disordered. They have no personal experience with it and are unable to recognize it.
Her victims may appear to be vindictive in any attempts to disprove her allegations. Her recruits see her as the injured party, pitiful and in need of help. Sadly, the abuser will often escalate her smear campaign and the victim becomes subjected to a multi-focused attack. The deceived and gullible recruits take up her cause and work as her ally to attack on her behalf. An abuser will protect herself, as her naive and gullible recruits willingly do her dirty work.
The abuser is now at her summit, and about to topple. This abuser will not engage in a fair fight, and it will ultimately backfire on her. Slowly her newly-recruited allies become aware of the truth. Suspecting her real motives and questioning her actions, they slowly remove themselves and walk away. The ones that hang on are the most dim-witted. Their bad judgment in supporting her is easily transparent. They support the abuser for their own Mephistophelean goals.
The battered emotions of the victims will craft thoughts of revenge, vengeance and justice, but her targets, often reeling from these unexpected cruel lies and alienation, will find little solace in their mentally-constructed retaliation thoughts.
Your abuser has anticipated your cries and pleas of innocence against her cruel lies and expects you to retaliate. She enjoys her victim's role. She basks in the limelight of all that attention she orchestrates. She has set the bait and your strength will come from remaining 'unbaitable' against this onslaught. Hang on tight; it's going to be a very cruel and bumpy ride.
Over the course of time, this abuser’s audience will abandon him. Those she worked hard to secure by portraying the victim have left. Her very actions will alienate anyone still near her. They begin to avoid her like the plague as the discrepancy of her lies and actions surfaces.
We may be able to 'nip it in the bud' by anticipating and emotionally preparing for this common response from the mentally disordered.
Ultimately there will be no audience gathered to listen. That is the self-inflicted fate of her own behavior. Eventually the abuser faces humiliation and exposure and will withdraw into final isolation. Long after we have healed and moved on, this final treachery will forever be the single act that stands out in our thoughts.
Our ultimate victory is the bitter/sweet irony of seeing the abuser portraying herself as the victim as he continues her life-long deeply-ingrained blame-game and her last remaining audience only the walls to hear her lies.
source: The Psychopath Site

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The charming sociopath among us

Think you can spot a sociopath? Think again. Sociopaths often blend easily into society. They're entertaining and fun at parties. They appear to be intelligent, charming, well-adjusted and likable. The key word is "appear." Because for sociopaths it's all an illusion, designed to convince you to give them what they want.
Sociopaths are prolific con artists. Here are some typical con artist tricks.
Lavish flattery
If you've just met someone who is overwhelming you with praise, attention and concern, be careful. Be particularly careful if you're lonely and looking for love—con artists know exactly how to play that tune.
Credentials—exaggerated and fabricated
Con artists may "prove" themselves by namedropping or volunteering detailed resumes or credentials. If you're at all suspicious, check their references.
Building your trust
Con artists will sometimes honor their commitments in the beginning so that you begin to trust them. They'll pay back initial loans, or appear to be unselfishly helping other people. Their objective is to get you to drop your guard.
The story doesn't quite add up
The con artist's story may have small inconsistencies or unexplained loose ends. If you ask questions, the con will glibly provide an explanation—which may also not add up. Or, he or she will sidestep the issue by accusing you of paranoia or mistrust.
"I need an answer now."
A crisis needs to be averted, an opportunity will disappear—whatever the reason, a con artist will want an answer right away. If you have time to think, research or ask advice, you may realize that con artist's plan is a ploy. The con will want your money before you figure it out.
Intense eye contact
Typically, when people talk to each other, they look each other in the eyes and then briefly look away. Sociopathic con artists often exhibit a "predatory stare"—unblinking, fixated and emotionless. It's not a sign of empathy—it's an effort to assert control.
A con artist will slowly and subtly separate you from people who may question his plans. He may intercept phone calls from your friends. He may refuse to associate with your family. He'll tell you, "It's you and me against the world, baby." Soon, you're alone with him, snared in his net.

source: Donna Anderson/ The Love Fraud Blog

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Abuse by Proxy

"Even the victim's (children) are amenable to the considerable charm, persuasiveness, and manipulativeness of the abuser and to his impressive thespian skills. The abuser offers a plausible rendition of the events and interprets them to his favor. The victims are often on the verge of a nervous breakdown: harassed, unkempt, irritable, impatient, abrasive, and hysterical.
Confronted with this contrast between a polished, self-controlled, and suave abuser and his harried casualties – it is easy to reach the conclusion that the real victim is the abuser, or that both parties abuse each other equally. The prey's acts of self-defense, assertiveness, or insistence on her rights are interpreted as aggression, lability, or a mental health problem."
This is especially true with young - and, therefore vulnerable - offspring, particularly if they live with the abuser. They are frequently emotionally blackmailed by her ("If you want mommy to love you, do this or refrain from doing that")..... Read more from Dr. Sam Vaknin

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Settling scores with the world

The Narcissistic parent regards his or her child as a multi-faceted source of Narcissistic Supply. The child is considered and treated as an extension of the narcissist's personality. It is through the child that the narcissist seeks to settle "open scores" with the world. The child is supposed to realize the unfulfilled grandiose dreams and fantasies of the narcissistic parent.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Children of Alcoholics

The Role of Heredity in Alcoholism
Like many other diseases, alcoholism is influenced by both hereditary andenvironmental factors that are being increasingly well defined. Expertsnow believe that alcoholism arises from a wide range of physiological,psychological, social and genetic factors.
Alcoholism tends to run in families, and genetic factors partially
explain this pattern. Researchers are looking for the genes thatinfluence vulnerability to alcoholism. They are also exploring therelationship between genetics and environment.
Genetic risk to alcoholism, however, is not destiny. A child of analcoholic parent will not automatically develop alcoholism, and a person
with no family history of alcoholism can become alcohol dependent.

According to the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information(NCADI), children of alcoholics generally:
* Are at high risk for alcohol and other drug problems.
* Often live with pervasive tension and stress.
* Have higher levels of anxiety and depression.
* Do poorly in school.
* Experience problems with coping.

Regardless of whether COAs are raised by alcoholics, they are at risk foralcoholism or alcoholism-related problems. However, the good news is thatCOAs can learn to trust, handle their feelings in healthy ways, and buildpositive, nurturing relationships, all of which help protect them fromalcohol problems. While you cannot change your genes, you can change yourunhealthy living patterns and how you deal with outside pressures. Source: The Legacy Group

Monday, July 03, 2006

I do not heart Crazy Makers!

A Crazymaker is someone who feeds on negative energies and tends to pull everyone around them into major melodramas. They are the type of people who have to either be the savior, the "I told you so", or the center of a situation. They will do anything to take a calm and easy situation and turn it into a disaster to place them in the middle. They will then come in and act as though it was your fault just to feed off of your negative vibes and become the hero. Then, when you confront them about their ways, they feel as though you're projecting your own weaknesses onto them and they suddenly begin to behave like a psychologist. Or, they will turn from their brutal ways into a simple victim and wonder why the world hates them so much.